


A Place For Me In Your Heart

by babykid528



Category: Star Trek Reboot RPF
Genre: Bisexual Character, Bisexual Male Character, Coming Out, First Kiss, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-17
Updated: 2010-05-17
Packaged: 2017-10-21 23:52:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/231259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babykid528/pseuds/babykid528
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Zach’s in NYC and Chris is in LA. Chris isn’t coping very well.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	A Place For Me In Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** Lies, lies, and more lies. Chris and Zach and any family/friends mentioned belong to themselves. And the title is taken from Tracy Chapman’s “The Promise.”
> 
> Written for my dear jenlynn820! <3 

From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Uuuuuuuuugh! I HATE MEETINGS!

Received:  
Thursday 11:20AM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

had coffee yet?

Received:  
Thursday 8:23AM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Just the weak crap Paramount likes to dish us. How'd you get out of this anyway?

Received:  
Thursday 11:27AM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

brave. no lamill? who else showed up?

Received:  
Thursday 8:32AM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Ever heard of capitalization? I was running late, so no Lamill. It's just me, my people, and the Paramount people. J.J.'s not even here.

Received:  
Thursday 11:37AM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

capitalization is for fascists. i bet tina is missing you at lamill this morning. she needs her morning flirt. did you consider this meeting was just for you?

Received:  
Thursday 8:40AM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

^ Look at my name. I'm your captain. You should be here to save me from this inanity. :-(

Received:  
Thursday 11:42AM

\---

From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Tina quit.

Received:  
Thursday 11:43AM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

sometimes even a captain must go it alone. sorry.

Received:  
Thursday 8:47AM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

did she really?

Received:  
Thursday 8:49AM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Yeah, she left... right after you did. I was doubly abandoned, thank you very much!

Received:  
Thursday 11:55AM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Uh-oh. Paramount man is glaring at me. Talk to you later.

Received:  
Thursday 11:56AM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

later spork.

Received:  
Thursday 9:01AM

\---

  
from: PINE, CHRIS KIRK <pine.cw75@gmail.com>  
to: "Quinto, Zachary Spock Sylar" <zjquinto42@gmail.com>

date: Thurs, April 22, 2010 at 7:29 PM  
subject: **I'm an ass.**

So, there's not enough room in a text to say this.

I'm sorry.

I was lacking caffeine and being lectured at about contract negotiation shit I shouldn't even be in the room for. I didn't mean to cut you off like that this morning after passive-aggressively blaming you for abandoning me.

How was the Big Apple today? It still treating you well?

-Chris (that jerk you call your friend)

\---

  
from: QUINTO, ZACHARY SPOCK SYLAR <zjquinto42@gmail.com>  
to: "Pine, Chris Kirk" <pine.cw75@gmail.com>

date: Thurs, April 22, 2010 at 10:35 PM  
subject: **RE: I'm an ass.**

it was no big deal, man. we're busy movie stars who get cranky without coffee when we have stupid meetings. i definitely get it.

the city was stupidly rainy today. yes. stupidly. vocabulary floated out the window. that is how rainy it was.

otherwise it's good.

-z (you are a jerk. but so am i sometimes.)

p.s. no. capitalization in emails won't be happening either. it's fascism i tell you. damn the man.

\---

  
from: PINE, CHRIS KIRK <pine.cw75@gmail.com>  
to: "Quinto, Zachary Spock Sylar" <zjquinto42@gmail.com>

date: Thurs, April 22, 2010 at 7:40 PM  
subject: **You're an ass.**

Seriously?! I'm beginning to think you may be a little bit paranoid about this "fascism" thing. Has NYC eaten your brain? Isn't that your job? HAHAHA! I'm so hilarious! ;-)

I almost forgot. I bumped into Joe this afternoon. He was walking Noah while I was taking a jog. Noah misses you.

-Chris

\---

  
from: QUINTO, ZACHARY SPOCK SYLAR <zjquinto42@gmail.com>  
to: "Pine, Chris Kirk" <pine.cw75@gmail.com>

date: Thurs, April 22, 2010 at 10:49 PM  
subject: **RE: You're an ass.**

can't be an artist in nyc without suffering from acute paranoia. i'm still working on it. getting there though.

oh my boy. i bet he was happy to see you. noah too.

haha. i'm funnier than you. see?

tell noah i miss him too when you see him next.

i better go. i have an early meeting in the a.m. i'll talk to you soon.

spork out.

-z

(don't think i missed the word change in the subject line. bitch.)

\---

  
Z-

So, I feel like a complete and utter tool writing this to you. Mostly because I know it will never be sent.

I'm being completely un-eco friendly with this exercise in stupidity, too- I'm wasting a whole marble notebook for this shit.

That's got to score me a couple of negative points in your hipster, tree-hugging, eco-friendly book of recycled paper.

Jesus, this is lame.

-C

\---

  
Z-

Okay, so, listen... I say "so" a lot. No! That's not my big news. Well, it's big news to me. Anyway. Fuck! I'm rambling like a complete moron.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for more than what I already apologized for earlier.

I'm sorry I brought it up again. I know you had to get away and do this thing and you didn't want to leave me or our friends or anything. I don't want to start that fight again. You're my best friend. You mean too much...

Fuck... this is so pointless.

\- Chris

\---

  
Zach,

I'm an absolute douche. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

Here we are, you the lapsed Catholic, me the complete agnostic, and I'm the one with the stifling guilt. This is completely backwards.

Jesus, Professor Keith would flog me for constructing anything with words this poorly...

What I'm really trying to say is, I miss you. Saying "I'm sorry" a million times is just easier.

\- Chris

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

who gets your your coffee if tina's gone?

Received:  
Friday 6:02AM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Are you aware it's six in the morning here???

Received:  
Friday 9:10AM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

oops.

Received:  
Friday 6:12AM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Jonathon.

Received:  
Friday 9:17AM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

oh. okay.

Received:  
Friday 6:19AM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

He flirts worse than Tina ever did. I may have to give up Lamill.

Received:  
Friday 9:23AM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

worried for your manhood?

Received:  
Friday 6:26AM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Terrified for it. :-P If only my manginity hadn't been lost years ago... Jonathon's only threat is to my IQ.

Received:  
Friday 9:30AM

\---

  
from: PINE, CHRIS KIRK <pine.cw75@gmail.com>  
to: "Quinto, Zachary Spock Sylar" <zjquinto42@gmail.com>

date: Fri, April 23, 2010 at 9:40 AM  
subject: **You still alive?**

You haven't keeled over, have you? I know I'm pretentious, but you're the one always rolling your eyes at the guy when we get coffee. He's tragically stupid. No reason to lie to ourselves about it.

-Chris

\---

  
* __I'mBringingSexyBack...Back...*

"Hello?"

"Are you fucking with me?"

"Zach, it's way too early in the morning for me to decipher what you are referring to..."

"Your manginity!"

"Oh."

"Oh!"

"..."

"..."

"What about it?"

"Christopher, don't even play cute with me. It took me weeks of painful deliberation. Weeks where we spent all this time together, me dropping hints about my sexuality, gauging how you'd react. You, this seemingly painfully straight, all-American, god from an upstanding family in the Biz. You, Captain fucking Kirk! And when I finally came out to you, you just shrugged it off like it was no big deal--"

"It wasn't--"

"And now, months and months later you just casually drop into an e-mail that you've fucked men before--"

"Been fucked by men, actually--"

"And I'm just supposed to sit here and act like that wasn't a complete surprise?!"

"...It was?"

"Christopher!"

"Well, I told you about my crush on Karl--"

" _Man_ -Crush! That is very different than a regular _crush_ -crush!"

"You and my publicist added the 'Man' part there. I just said crush. And I flirt with Anton _all_ the time--"

"Everyone flirts with Anton--"

"And John--"

"He's married!"

"And Eric--"

"Also married!"

"And J.J...."

"Okay, so you're ridiculously affectionate. That's not news... Listen, I've gotta go... don't think we won't be discussing this more tonight."

"Sure thing, Zach. I'll talk to you later."

"Later."

\---

  
Dear Z,

This is what happens when you major in English at Berkeley—you are overwhelmed with Women’s Studies classes in which you learn to get in touch with your femininity, aka you read Jane Austen and learn to find yourself in the protagonists.

I feel like a Jane Austen heroine all the time. I'm pretty sure I act like one too. I’m about two longing stares and a sigh away from being Elinor to your Edward. I thought that was giveaway enough.

Yes, I'm bi. Tina's breasts were beautiful, but so are Eric's arms. Zoe's legs deserve sonnets. Karl's laugh made me half hard the first time I met him. And Anton's hips are just as mesmerizing on the dance floor at the club as Rachel's are.

Male, female. It doesn't matter. Beautiful is beautiful.

I'm sorry I never told you, but I was worried I would and you'd know.

You'd know that I would trade them all--every attractive face and sexily rumbled laugh--for you. You and your ridiculously cared for eyebrows. And your ridiculously goofy way you shield your face with your hands when you laugh all embarrassed. And that way you bite your lip, with those hipster glasses of yours sliding down the bridge of your nose, while you read through your scripts, making notes…

I'm going to have to burn this notebook.

\- Chris

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Do you hate me now or something?

Received:  
Friday 9:30PM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

no. of course not.

Received:  
Friday 6:32PM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Okay, good. That would have been way too hypocritical of you for me to stomach.

Received:  
Friday 9:35PM

\---

  
From: MrGabrielSpock

:-P

Received:  
Friday 6:37PM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Ladies and Gentlemen, he has found the shift key.

Received:  
Friday 9:41PM

\---

  
* _I'mBringingSexyBack...Back_ *

"Hey."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Zach..."

"Don't 'Zach' me, Pine. Why'd you keep this hidden? Was it your publicist?"

"No... Zach... you, more than anyone else, should understand how important my privacy is to me."

"Yeah."

"..."

"..."

"Come on, Zach. This is hard for me. It's bad enough being in Hollywood trying to secretly date women. You, of all people, know how hard it is being in Hollywood trying to secretly date men. And it's not like bisexuality is exactly embraced by this country, OR its gay scene. I already feel like odd man out most of the time."

"Chris..."

"I know. I know you don't care. I know our friends won't care. My family doesn't care. Patrick doesn't care. I know... it's still hard."

"I'm sorry."

"No... I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you so many times--"

"What stopped you."

"..."

"Chris."

"..."

"Chris, it's me."

"I know, and that's the problem... listen, I need to go meet Kat for dinner. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"...Promise?"

"Spork's honor."

"Okay. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

\---

  
Booking a seat on the next flight possible to New York was Kat's idea. When Chris called Joe for Zach’s address, Joe wholeheartedly supported it as well. Chris wasn’t sure if they were both just tired of Chris’ mooning, or if they really thought the idea was a smart one. Either way, he booked the flight on his phone before leaving the restaurant.

Chris barely had time to throw together a bag of clothing before rushing to LAX. His publicist was working overtime, leaking it to all the people who might find Chris' impromptu trip odd, that Chris was attending the Tribeca Film Festival. She would wait to kill him until he returned. For now, Chris was given free-reign of his life for the first time in years and he was taking full advantage of it.

\---

  
He'd been too wired to sleep on the plane, even though he’d tried his damnedest. So, arriving at Zach's building close to six thirty in the morning, Chris was just a bit off of his game. Certainly too far off his game to successfully charm his way past the doorman. Plus, he was nervous as hell.

"Mr. Quinto," the doorman spoke softly into the phone at the front desk, "I'm so sorry to wake you. You have a very insistent visitor down here, and I would normally turn him away at this hour, but he said it's urgent."

Chris shuffled from foot to foot as he watched the doorman, glared at him really, silently.

The doorman covered the receiver before asking Chris, "I'm sorry, sir. What was your name?"

Chris huffed before growling, "Kirk. Kirk Whitelaw."

The doorman nodded, "Mr. Quinto? It's a Kirk Whitelaw to see you."

"Tell him I flew from home and--"

The doorman glared at Chris until he shut up. The doorman then nodded and responded into the phone, "Yes, sir," before hanging it up.

He turned to Chris once again, "You can go up in five minutes."

"Five minutes?!"

"Mr. Whitelaw, I advise you to take a seat in the lobby here," the doorman insisted. "I'm not letting you past this point until five minutes exactly are up."

Grumbling, Chris flopped into an armchair.

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

What the fuck man?? Call off this hell hound of a doorman and let me come up!

Received:  
Saturday 6:53AM

\---

  
From: OCaptainMyCaptain

Zachary John Quinto! I'm jetlagged and impatient at the best of times! And I'm in need of coffee too!

Received:  
Saturday 6:57AM

\---

  
Chris slammed his phone down against his knee.

"Mr. Whitelaw," the doorman acknowledged him once again. "You may now head up."

Grumbling, Chris thanked him before practically bounding toward the elevator.

\---

  
Chris knocked loudly on Zach’s door, hoping he wasn’t waking Zach’s neighbors, but too anxious to really care. It felt like ages before Zach finally opened the door.

"Well, fucking hell..."

"Nice to see you too," Chris responded, pushing past Zach into his apartment.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Zach asked, still dazed from being woken.

Chris sighed, "Well, according to my publicist, I'm here for the Tribeca Film Festival. You're going, right?"

"Yeah," Zach rasped before yawning.

Chris stood still, staring around Zach's still very empty New York apartment. It made him feel a bit better, more at ease, to see Zach had done even less to make this place home than he had with his LA apartment.

"Why are you really here, Chris?"

Zach's question broke Chris' reverie, wiping the small grin off his face. Chris turned his attention back to Zach. Zach stood before him in a pair of boxers and a familiar looking ratty, white t-shirt. He hadn't shaved yet, or brushed his hair, and he was staring at Chris far more intensely than anyone should this early in the morning.

Chris swallowed.

"It was urgent."

"So I heard you tell Marty downstairs when he called up."

They stared at one another again.

"Zach?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm bisexual."

Zach's sleepy glare softened. "So you've mentioned."

"Zach?"

"Chris?"

"I'm in love with you."

The silence in the room was deafening. Not even a clock could be heard ticking.

"Chris..." Zach breathed out.

"That's why I hadn't told you," Chris scrambled to explain. "That I was bi, I mean. I was worried you'd know if I told you. Because I've loved you for a long time. You're one of my best friends. My _best_ friend. And I'm in love with you."

Chris fidgeted, swiping his tongue across his lips nervously. Zach was actually staring at him, speechless.

"I couldn't stand the thought of losing you completely," Chris mumbled, casting his gaze toward the carpeted floor, "If I couldn't have you in my life as anything more than a best friend, then that was infinitely better than not having you in my life at all--"

"Shut up," Zach sighed.

Chris whipped his head up to stare at Zach, open-mouthed. "Excuse me?"

"Just shut up already," Zach said more firmly before stepping forward, cupping Chris' face in his palms and kissing him softly.

\---

  
Dear Zach,

I don't think I've ever sat in Central Park before. Not like this, anyway.

You're less than a foot away, reading a book about something while our fingers brush against one another on the grass between us. And I'm sitting here writing this to you. Kat would call me insane.

I have you within arm's reach--I had you a lot closer earlier this morning--and I'm still writing you letters as if you're across the country from me.

If I felt like a Jane Austen heroine before, I certainly feel like one now! Just call me Elizabeth Bennett or Emma Woodhouse. I don't even care. Not as long as I can call you My Mr. Darcy or My Mr. Knightley.

Jesus! If ever I do show you this notebook, I hope you won't laugh too hard at me. I become debilitatingly geeky with love around you. And I'm an English major. The geek is already unavoidable.

Of course, it seems to be a quality of mine that you, at the very least, don't mind. Though, I'm pretty sure you enjoy it.

I enjoy you Zach. I love you. And I missed you. And I'll miss you when I have to leave again. But, for now, I'm going to close this letter by saying, I'm blessed to have you in my life, in any way I can keep you. That you love me in return, is something beyond my wildest dreams.

Time to focus on the here and now. Maybe, if I play my cards right, you'll make out with me on one of the benches in Literary Walk. ;-)

Love,  
Chris

P.S. I trust you with my heart. I hope I can trust you not to tell everyone we know about this weakness I have for Jane Austen...  


.


End file.
